Finally, we arrive at truly intimate committed love as the third area of bringing love into your life. Our journey to expand and deepen love in life has taken us from self-love to heart-based friendships. Now we will consider committed, intimate relationships.
Notice that in the below exploration of committed intimacy, does not need to include romance. These healthy, deep relationships can exist without a romantic aspect. Still, if you are looking for romance, certainly committed intimacy should be expressed in the love you are seeking.
If you are in an established relationship, consider what it might mean to deepen it and fall in love all over again.
Intimacy implies that you, as a mate/lover/companion, are truly authentic and vulnerable with your partner; your partner feels safe being 100% genuine because you accept them. Committed implies a level of trust that may be present in no other relationship in your life; communication is honest; you stand with each other.
Deep intimate relationships include a sense of mutual support, mutual fulfillment, and a focus on positive growth through the relationship. There is compassion and the sense of a loving bond, with real engagement where nothing is withheld.
These qualities in a relationship are related to health benefits and certainly well-being. What a joy to have such a relationship in your life. Now that you love yourself, you can do this!
Have you ever had such a relationship, or perhaps you are enjoying one now? I’d love to hear your description of how true intimacy and trust feels to you.
Next, we will add the element of romance.
Not every woman over 60 is interested in romance. Loving yourself, enjoying a circle of friends, and embracing the world is a full heart. Yet, for some of us, romance is an important dimension of life.
For me, I had never really allowed myself to fully love earlier in my life. I guess I was just too afraid to open up, so I stayed busy taking care of my responsibilities. I decided to open myself to the possibility because I truly desired that experience in this lifetime. It took a couple of years, and it happened!
The purpose of romance changes in our phase of life. Rather than building families and shaping our life story, we are creating romance in a life with deep roots, history, and sense of self. We know who we are and what we want. So, stay clear and true to what you know.
When I embarked on my journey, I imagined scenes of what we would do, how I would feel, and the person I would be as a partner as well as his qualities. I drew pictures. I wrote it all down. This helped me stay tuned into my desire. Since magically meeting my love, I have in fact experienced several of my imagined scenes – down to where we are sitting, and the smell of coffee, and how the room looks.
The trick is to stay open to receive the love you desire and deserve AND be just fine if it does not come into being. I must say, that was a true test of my maturity and faith to stand in that place. Being with others who believe in you helps.
I’m going to be bold here – romance typically involves sex. WebMD lists healthy sex as important as exercise for our health. All that oxytocin and dopamine gets transported through our body and is good for us.
According to Walter M. Bortz II, MD, author of We Love Too Short and Die Too Long. “The reality is that older people are a lot sexier than younger people think. The common notion is that when you are old you don’t — and maybe shouldn’t – have sex. Our studies have shown that older people are sexier in attitude and performance than they have been credited for.” So, let go of any “older people don’t do that” thinking! We do.
If you are in an intimate committed relationship, however sex manifests is just perfect… and it may be a whole lot better than you imagine!
Committed love/intimacy/romance enriches life and has health benefits. However you choose to define it in your life, there is good reason to nurture it. I decided for the experience of deep romantic love and intimacy. And now, this will be a Valentine’s Day like no other.
If you want a guide and encouragement for your own deepening of love in your life, we can chat after I return from my Valentine’s trip to the Galapagos with my life partner. I’d love to hear your story and where you are on your journey to bring more love into your life. Live with a full heart!
What does your heart desire? How are you or do you want to fill the space for an intimate and committed relationship in your life? How do you nurture intimacy and romance in your life?