Loving My Older Self

I am about to turn 76, so I am reflecting on the woman I will be at 96. We know that our beliefs about aging influence the quality of our lives as we age. For example, if you believe it is normal for an 80-year-old to go on an active vacation with kayaking and hiking, then it is likely that you will do that yourself, and live the lifestyle that supports doing so.

So, the question is, what do I believe...

Have you ever considered doing something that sounded fun or interesting, but it just made you feel too anxious and full of fear?

This is part 3 of a three-article series about common ways we hold ourselves back from living the life we truly desire. The first article discussed how easy it is to find ways to talk ourselves out of making life changes that will move us toward fulfillment.

The second article explored the role of “busyness” in keeping us stuck when we truly desire something different.

Finally, we will normalize the fears that may arise when we decide to make a change in the comfortable status quo of our daily lives.

What Are You Anxious About?

When we want to try something new or make a change in our life, it is perfectly normal to feel apprehension, fear, or nervousness. These are...

Have you ever wanted to try something new or make some kind of change in your life and then not follow through? We all do it! Yet, not following through can detract from us living the full and happy life we imagine, deserve and that can support healthy aging.

Maybe there is an activity you want to learn, such as pickleball or painting, and you never get beyond considering it… then feel yearning when you see someone else doing it. Or perhaps you want to write or get involved with a community group – then take no action.

Comfort Is Easier

Most of us are attached to the status quo, where life is safe, known, and easier. That is a holdover from our ancestors, where change could be life threatening. So, it is natural. Here is an article from several years ago that discusses the draw of comfort.

We humans tend to use three ways to...

Remember those “Choose Your Own Adventure” ® books by Chooseco? What if we looked at our post-fulltime life like that? After all, there are phases to retirement – from honeymoon to disenchantment to reorientation. Sometimes, there is no honeymoon, and we experience concern and confusion about what to do. It seems like “choose your own” is a mindset that could help us navigate the retirement journey with all its twists and turns.

Freedom to Choose

Do you ever find yourself looking around to see how others are handling life after fulltime work? Using our book analogy, that is like finding out what others are reading. It doesn’t mean that you will like the book! Of course, exploring to get ideas is a good thing. The trick is to not assume others have the key that will work for you. You could use the “choose your own adventure” chapter approach to...

For many of us, early January is a time of dreaming about the year ahead. I just love taking the time for this with a cup of cacao or tea wrapped in my aqua Afghan made by a friend. Find your special place to focus on your own desires.

Perhaps you dream of following an interest long ignored or deepening love in your life. Maybe, like me, you dream of some new adventures to keep the spark shining brightly. Some women desire to make more of an impact in the world or to slow down and live a simpler life. What are you dreaming of?

Then, what can you do to take your dreams out of the “dream world” and into the life you live?

Bringing to life our deepest desires requires faith and trust because usually it is not clear how we can make them reality. That is a good thing! If you know how to accomplish something, then it is a goal, rather than a dream. We deserve to...

If you are experiencing some kind of life transition, you may be eager to get settled into your new phase. It might be leaving full-time work, or living alone for the first time in years, or having to adapt to new physical conditions. No matter the reason, life changes may be a time to reassess your sense of self and approach to life.

I had a recent conversation with a woman about how to create a revised life that is more fulfilling and satisfying. She asked me how she can know what she really wants out of all the possibilities and her perceived limits. That’s a very good question that requires a thorough response. Here we go!

“Thinking” That You Know

Knowing is more than what you ‘think’, literally. For example, when I left full-time teaching, I planned to teach courses part-time and enjoy...

This article focuses on the transition out of full time work. The ideas also are relevant to anyone seeing 65 as a transition into a new phase of life. Let’s begin by framing the end of a full-time career as simply a transition in a continual sequence of life transitions. We have been through many and know how to do it. Step away from phrases like “final phase, third act, and golden age.” Such language builds an expectation of decline that may not be true for you, and certainly not for many of us.

A recent study by Age Wave (June 2023) found that on average, the concept of “old” for our grandparents was at 60 years and now is 80 years for our generation. I think that calls for a new language and understanding of what our post full-time years are about! Don’t you?

As we navigate the end of full-time work, we often ask...