My 23-year-old grandson and I were recently chatting about the stages of life – one of many much-loved conversations where age meets youthful curiosity. When he asked me at what point someone officially becomes “old,” I paused. Then I offered him this:

“You become old the moment you believe the most important parts of your life are behind you. When you begin to feel irrelevant or as if you have nothing more to offer – that is when old age truly begins.”

“Old” Isn’t a Number

We all know this, don’t we? You might meet an 80-year-old who’s full of life and spark – and a 55-year-old who seems to have given up on joy. Aging isn’t about years; it’s about energy, spirit, and belief.

A Pew Research study found that younger adults think 70 is old. But ask people between 65 and 74? Only 21% of them say they feel old. Among those over 75, it’s just 35%. As someone on the doorst

If you have the opportunity, I highly recommend Kimberly Akimbo, a Tony Award-winning play that left a deep impression on me. It tells the story of a teenage girl, Kimberly, who is living with Progeria – a rare condition that causes rapid aging – navigating the brief time she has left. Kimberly’s determination to fulfill her dreams, from seeing the ocean to riding a roller coaster to visiting Disney World, was both heartwarming and inspiring.

The Illusion of Immortality

In our youth, life feels like an endless adventure. It’s a time of discovery, exploration, and growth.

Who is the feisty you in 15-20 years? As we journey through life, it’s natural to reflect on our past and ponder the future. For those of us who are approaching or have surpassed 60, we sometimes overlook the extent of the number of years ahead of us. The next 20-25 years (or more!) offer a canvas brimming with possibilities and certainly marked by more than one live phase if we live it fully.

I sometimes hear women even younger than 60 describe themselves as “old” and that the most important part of life has been lived. In reality, 60 is considered by researchers to be the end of middle age. If we look at life as a three-part book, we have all the chapters of part 3 yet to write.

Instead of focusing on what we have done and who we were, what about relishing who we have become and what is ahead? Let’s take a look at the rich phases of life we lived during our “middle age,” in ord

“I just never thought I was old.” This is the wisdom shared by many older adults over 90. They say they don’t and never have considered themselves to be old. They really do not feel old, so why act that way? I read about a 102-year-old who was indignant that there are few birthday cards available for those over 100. Wouldn’t you love to meet her?

Contrast this with my friend at 70 years who said she has hit her “best if used by date!” This friend is active, younger than I am, and involved in many activities such as golf and book groups. To my knowledge, there is no expiration date stamped on her! When asked, she explained that she expects to decline and to become dependent on help. Thus, she is preparing for that scenario to define her older years. Of course, having a plan seems prudent. Yet, the plan should not define an entire phase of life before it is lived!

The reality is that each of us

Are you wondering what mindset has to do with how you age? Isn’t healthy aging more about eating well and getting exercise? Well yes, these are important. So is having a sense of purpose and enjoying good relationships/community.

Add your mindset to the list. Much of the recent research on healthy aging cites some aspect of mindset as a significant contributor to aging well. One study of optimism found over a 30-year period that persons with optimism decreased their risk of early death by about 20%.

Becca Levy’s book, Breaking the Age Code (2022), is all about how beliefs about aging influence health span and age span. As a reminder, Dr. Levy found that research participants with positive age beliefs lived on average 7.5 years longer than those with more negative beliefs.

Don’t you think there is value in taking a moment to reflect on your mindset?

Wh

Loving My Older Self

I am about to turn 76, so I am reflecting on the woman I will be at 96. We know that our beliefs about aging influence the quality of our lives as we age. For example, if you believe it is normal for an 80-year-old to go on an active vacation with kayaking and hiking, then it is likely that you will do that yourself, and live the lifestyle that supports doing so.

So, the question is, what do I believe about this 96-year-old

Have you ever considered doing something that sounded fun or interesting, but it just made you feel too anxious and full of fear?

This is part 3 of a three-article series about common ways we hold ourselves back from living the life we truly desire. The first article discussed how easy it is to find ways to talk ourselves out of making life changes that will move us toward fulfillment.

The second article explored the role of “busyness” in keeping us stuck when we truly desire something different.

Finally, we will normalize the fears that may arise when we decide to make a change in the comfortable status quo of our daily lives.

What Are You Anxious About?

When we want to try something new or make a change in our life, it is perfectly normal to feel apprehension, fear, or nervousness. These are simply other words to describe feeling anxious. Look back on you

Have you ever wanted to try something new or make some kind of change in your life and then not follow through? We all do it! Yet, not following through can detract from us living the full and happy life we imagine, deserve and that can support healthy aging.

Maybe there is an activity you want to learn, such as pickleball or painting, and you never get beyond considering it… then feel yearning when you see someone else doing it. Or perhaps you want to write or get involved with a community group – then take no action.

Comfort Is Easier

Most of us are attached to the status quo, where life is safe, known, and easier. That is a holdover from our ancestors, where change could be life threatening. So, it is natural. Here is an article from several years ago that discusses the draw of comfort.

We humans tend to use three ways to remain stuck and not move toward what we wa

Remember those “Choose Your Own Adventure” ® books by Chooseco? What if we looked at our post-fulltime life like that? After all, there are phases to retirement – from honeymoon to disenchantment to reorientation. Sometimes, there is no honeymoon, and we experience concern and confusion about what to do. It seems like “choose your own” is a mindset that could help us navigate the retirement journey with all its twists and turns.

Freedom to Choose

Do you ever find yourself looking around to see how others are handling life after fulltime work? Using our book analogy, that is like finding out what others are reading. It doesn’t mean that you will like the book! Of course, exploring to get ideas is a good thing. The trick is to not assume others have the key that will work for you. You could use the “choose your own adventure” chapter approach to consider your options and what is appealing.

For example, you could simply imag