If you step into your ideal self at age 95 and look back, what do you want to see? Is it a life of happiness? Of meaning? Certainly, you want to feel satisfied with the years you have lived and are living. I faced having to figure out how to be satisfied with my life when I turned 70; I had left full-time work and felt lost. There are many reasons for feeling unsettled, usually related to some kind of shift in our life role. I have clients much younger than 70 who feel dissatisfaction and thus find themselves searching.

Traditionally, happiness and meaning are the main ingredients to living what is called a “good life.” I want to sense that I’ve made a difference; that falls under “meaning.” Then, I’m pretty happy too! So, both happiness and meaning matter to me. What about you?

Recently, I ran across a new book and learned about yet another life dimension to co

“Purpose? I never want another purpose,” a recent retiree told me. “I’ve had enough.”

We both laughed. After some conversation, she said she was open to a different word – meaning. Can you feel the difference? For many of us, the notion of purpose feels restrictive and full of obligation for good reasons.

Most women navigate life responding to the requirements of marriage, parenting, and work goals. During our lifetime, many women also became achievers professionally, as well as maintaining more traditional feminine roles. That is a lot to manage!

It is not only life roles that define us, but also the social norms regarding how a woman should behave. Although we have made progress, we women are still the primary caregivers, are appraised according to our social standards of beauty, and carry out traditional roles.

Let’s appreciate all we have done to balance life, support others and contribute throughout

For many of us, our tank feels full of advice on how to live with meaning, be happier, healthier, and think positively. I’m one of those authors who writes about it! After reading 14 books on positive aging, I can confirm the tank is full. And the books keep coming.

The reality is that, as important as all the counsel is to our well-being, we do get older. That process started at ground zero when we were born and will not stop until we do.

So, my question to you is, “How do you navigate the realities of getting older with the desire to make your life the best possible?” Alternatively, “What do you expect if you attend to nurturing in yourself the habits linked to aging well?”

We Do Not Fail at Aging

Researchers and authors can leave us believing that if we think positively enough, surround ourselves with enough community and love, and live a purpose-dri

Have you ever heard of “longevity literacy?” I certainly had not. This new-to-me term is associated with how well we predict how long we are going to live. From a study about this topic, I learned that over half of us underestimate how long we will live!

The study focused on the financial decision-making implications of this underestimation. Of course, they found that people who underestimate their lifespan tend to not save the financial resources needed to live comfortably for all their years after full-time work. I pondered what other consequences might occur that may impact the quality of life beyond the life span we anticipate.

Let’s begin to understand the implications of “longevity literacy” on how we may choose to live our lives.

Experiment 1

First, put yourself in the mindset that in your 60s or 70s you are

My 23-year-old grandson and I were recently chatting about the stages of life – one of many much-loved conversations where age meets youthful curiosity. When he asked me at what point someone officially becomes “old,” I paused. Then I offered him this:

“You become old the moment you believe the most important parts of your life are behind you. When you begin to feel irrelevant or as if you have nothing more to offer – that is when old age truly begins.”

“Old” Isn’t a Number

We all know this, don’t we? You might meet an 80-year-old who’s full of life and spark – and a 55-year-old who seems to have given up on joy. Aging isn’t about years; it’s about energy, spirit, and belief.

A Pew Research study found that younger adults think 70 is old. But ask people between 65 and 74? Only 21% of them say they feel old. Among those over 75, it’s just 35%. As someone on the doorst

“I just never thought I was old.” This is the wisdom shared by many older adults over 90. They say they don’t and never have considered themselves to be old. They really do not feel old, so why act that way? I read about a 102-year-old who was indignant that there are few birthday cards available for those over 100. Wouldn’t you love to meet her?

Contrast this with my friend at 70 years who said she has hit her “best if used by date!” This friend is active, younger than I am, and involved in many activities such as golf and book groups. To my knowledge, there is no expiration date stamped on her! When asked, she explained that she expects to decline and to become dependent on help. Thus, she is preparing for that scenario to define her older years. Of course, having a plan seems prudent. Yet, the plan should not define an entire phase of life before it is lived!

The reality is that each of us

It is time to prepare for this year’s Ageism Awareness Day on October 9^th. Words are one of the most powerful forces in shaping how our society thinks of aging and older adults. So, let’s explore the words that we use and that you use to label our stage of life.

Who Is “Old”?

It seems that the perception of who is “old” relates to the age of the person being asked. People in their 20s consider 65 to be “old.” Only 16% of adults over 60 consider 65 to be old! I know people in their 70s who do not consider themselves old, me included. Do you feel “old?”

I don’t intend to discount those of us who are facing health issues and may indeed feel a decline in vitality. The point is that issues that underpin a loss of vitality may happen in any decade, so the problem is the health issue and not just age. Age is not a problem; health iss

Are you wondering what mindset has to do with how you age? Isn’t healthy aging more about eating well and getting exercise? Well yes, these are important. So is having a sense of purpose and enjoying good relationships/community.

Add your mindset to the list. Much of the recent research on healthy aging cites some aspect of mindset as a significant contributor to aging well. One study of optimism found over a 30-year period that persons with optimism decreased their risk of early death by about 20%.

Becca Levy’s book, Breaking the Age Code (2022), is all about how beliefs about aging influence health span and age span. As a reminder, Dr. Levy found that research participants with positive age beliefs lived on average 7.5 years longer than those with more negative beliefs.

Don’t you think there is value in taking a moment to reflect on your mindset?

Wh

Have you ever considered doing something that sounded fun or interesting, but it just made you feel too anxious and full of fear?

This is part 3 of a three-article series about common ways we hold ourselves back from living the life we truly desire. The first article discussed how easy it is to find ways to talk ourselves out of making life changes that will move us toward fulfillment.

The second article explored the role of “busyness” in keeping us stuck when we truly desire something different.

Finally, we will normalize the fears that may arise when we decide to make a change in the comfortable status quo of our daily lives.

What Are You Anxious About?

When we want to try something new or make a change in our life, it is perfectly normal to feel apprehension, fear, or nervousness. These are simply other words to describe feeling anxious. Look back on you