Be a Friend

friendship love Feb 20, 2022


Originally published at

This is the second of three articles to help us create more love in life. A life filled with love vibes will help keep you healthy and happy. Spread the love.

We are all familiar with the adage, “If you want a friend, be a friend.” I am living proof that it is true! The second step I took on my journey into love was to mindfully nurture and expand my circle of woman-friends. Remember, this is after spending time learning to love me… the real me.

Since the last article about the value of self-love, you have tuned into loving yourself. Hopefully, you have found some ways for your self-love to flourish. Know that others recognize the energy of self-love and that it is attractive. Others are drawn to it. With it you are more available for friendship.

What Is the State of Your Friend Love?

If you are anything like me when I began my journey to create more love in my life, I had friends, but the relationships were not really thriving. I felt a desire to be seen and known more deeply than I had previously allowed. When you don’t really love yourself, the tendency is to push others away or hide, so they can’t really know you.

From the sense of community, I was alone. I longed to “belong” to a community – in my case, to join a community of women.

Do you have the true friendships you desire in life?

Take Some Time to Reflect on the Status of Your Friendship Community

Connection/community is important… even essential. According to the Mayo Clinic friendships:

  • “Increase your sense of belonging and purpose
  • Boost your happiness and reduce your stress
  • Improve your self-confidence and self-worth
  • Help you cope with traumas, such as divorce, serious illness, job loss or the death of a loved one
  • Encourage you to change or avoid unhealthy lifestyle habits, such as excessive drinking or lack of exercise.”

Who doesn’t need a little more of this!?

Be the Initiator

Here is how I approached it. First, I made the effort to routinely connect with a couple of women that I always enjoy and with whom I feel comfortable. Remember that connecting with people who respect and support us, and disconnecting from those that don’t, is essential for your self-love to blossom.

How did I do this? I started out by putting a note to connect with specific friends on my calendar each week. Proactively connecting was a new habit for me. I called and texted. Then we were scheduling walks or a coffee visit. I began with two friends and eventually it expanded.

Now, there is a give and take for scheduling walks and sharing recipes and what we are experiencing. It is now a natural part of our life rhythm, and we all are valuing the connection. It is good for me and from their response, good for them too. That is spreading the love.

Are there women who you would love to be closer to? Start by reaching out to them. Notice if the relationship feels nurturing or not.

Be a Joiner

Next, I searched out a couple of communities of women where I naturally fit because of who I am. Remember, loving yourself means not hiding who you are. This is where it is important to notice what you are drawn to.

I am an active person and love being outside. I found a Dragon Boat paddling team on Meet up and went out for a guest paddle. I loved it! The team quickly became my sisters, and we are there for each other personally, in addition to doing fun things together.

The second community is a group of women reviewing and contributing to organizations that support women and families around the world. We share a values bond regarding helping other women.

What kinds of communities might you be more involved with? It can be a sweet adventure.

Spread the Love

Deepening and broadening your relationships is personally nurturing and validating. In the end, my life feels full, and I truly have love for my friends. My examples focused on women friendships, and certainly all of this applies to friendships with men too.

If you love yourself, you can be known by others. This is what allows friendships to deepen. Your love for your friends will help them to love and appreciate themselves. So, we are creating a virtuous cycle that can send ripple effects beyond what we see.

Now, if you are so inclined, you are prepared to take the next step into romantic love after 60. We will begin that chapter in the next article.

How many new friendships have you initiated? Are they playing an important role in your life? What do you do with your friends? Where do you meet new people? I’d love to hear about how you nurture your friendships… or your ideas about how to enrich the friendship energy in your life.


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